Writerly Things 2/10/2020: Hearing “No” isn’t a Problem, Hearing a “Yes” is.
We hear “No” so often as writers and as people in general that it’s not a problem. Meaning, we’re accustomed to no. It’s the “Yes,” that we don’t hear enough. Especially, as writers.
No in Everyday Instances.
Trying to get a loan? Hearing more negative news than positive? Part of life, everyone says. Still, it can hurt. No one wants to hear those words, regardless of the circumstances. It’s especially painful however, when we have our heart set on something. A car. A boat. A house. Who doesn’t dream of the perfect dream house? A place to call our own. A refuge. Shelter when the world brings us a hard day. And not getting that car loan could mean the difference between biking to work and driving. A boat comes with its own priorities. Can’t go out on the lake comfortably without one.
No at Work.
You hear from your boss no all the time. Woe be to you if you answer him with a no. “No, I didn’t get those reports done.” “No, I don’t know what went wrong.” “No, I didn’t see that happening.” All those no’s are going to add up and bring the job down around your ears. There are rules to follow and when you don’t get them right, it brings trouble.
No Between the Community and You.
Did you say no to an event you were invited to? Maybe a council meeting. Maybe a political rally. Do you feel like the community at large is upset with you for doing so? Don’t sweat it, sometimes you have to say no yourself. Other things may be a priority. Your son’s little league. Your daughter’s eighth birthday party. Your wife’s and your anniversary. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty. Sometimes things come up. You can always read in the paper or hear from your neighbors about the events of these type of things anyway.
No to Church from You.
Here again, other things may come up when you’re asked to go to events at church. Once again, no need to feel guilty. It happens to all of us. Yeah, this is your turn to say no when asked to run fundraisers or commit to another night at church when other things make it impossible to do so. You’re not trying to be mean, just keeping things simple. In this truth, a lot of writer’s fear if they say no, especially to their church, they’re being “bad” people. That simply, isn’t the case. We’d all like to do more things than we do but sometimes it’s okay after a huge workweek, to just stay home and relax.
No to Your Extended Family.
Again, here events arise within the extended family. Picnics. Birthday parties. Reunions. We try and make as many as we can but don’t feel consumed with guilt when you have to say no to a date your family has written on their calendar. It’s not the end of the world. Yes, it may ruffle a few feathers, but they’ll get over it. Sometimes you may have a deadline to meet and that requires a commitment to your publisher. After all, they’re your boss and just like a regular job, you won’t get paid if you don’t finish your project.
With Your Writing.
Here’s where all those rejections come in. One after the other, they hit your inbox. Or P.O. Box if you go by the old-fashioned way. No one likes to receive them, but they serve a purpose, believe it or not. They make you stronger. They strengthen your resolve. They help you to persevere. If you keep moving forward, not giving up, one day, you’ll reach the summit. And that’s when more no’s will hit. You see, they never go away. They just get easier to handle. Your skin thickens. You know if one publisher/agent said no, another may have that yes.
So, there you have it! Yes, it might be harder to get that “Yes,” but once you do, it’ll matter more than all those “Nos” strung together.
Have a great week, take care, God bless!