Humor & Fun: The Sassy pants Life of Mr. Midnight Traci Kenworth I’m the Alpha. Even though I’m the smallest male. Blame it on my runt status. See me. Hear me. Roar. I tend to be the first one in line for food. I’m the skinniest but that’s no matter. I will have what’s mine. And yours. And head back to fool Mom into thinking it’s time for more. (Not really.) How do I wake Mom up? I lay on her stomach, pressing it to get her moving. This usually works but sometimes she pushes me off, so I have to become creative. I am Sassy pants, after all. What do I do with my day? Sleep. Eat. Sleep. Eat. Yeah, in that order. I like to steer Mom towards bed and keep an eye on her till morning. The other cats try and steal my place, but I wait them out. They get impatient and leave. I do not. I am the High King. Sassy pants is my code name. Midnight, my first.